Your dad style based on your zodiac sign: From wise to wacky to sexy

New York Post

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Capricorn scholar Umberto Eco wrote “I believe that what we become depends on what our fathers teach us at odd moments, when they aren’t trying to teach us. We are formed by little scraps of wisdom.”

The nature of those odd moments and the scraps of wisdom they produce is at least partially informed by astrology. When it comes to becoming, our dads can teach us how to be men or what to expect from them based on being present or absent themselves.

The respective stars and zodiac signs our dads are born under can illuminate just how they shine for us. Are they hands off or helicopter? All in their feels, crying at soft ball or stone faced stoic no matter how many tantrums we throw, cigarettes we smoke or felons we bring home?

My own warlock Libra sun/Scorpio moon dad taught me not to trust the government, to lie by omission and to groom a unibrow for maximum intimidation. Love you, Arne.

In honor of the men that make us and break us here’s a list of the paternal styles of each zodiac sign.

ARIES (March 21 – April 19)

Shirtless Mark Consuelos in bed with wife Kelly Ripa.
Aries Mark Consuelos redefines the idea of a “dad bod.”
Instagram

An Aries father is energetic, enthusiastic and reactive. This is the sporty sort that will 100% support a race car bed at any age. Conflict is the curse but also the course correction of Aries patriarchs who are all heart, not filter. As a fire sign, Aries fathers are physical, and in the case of adonis daddy Mark Consuelos doing their damndest to rebrand the dad bod. The darker expression of Aries dad vibes includes poor impulse control and the tendency to fly off the handle and say things they don’t mean and will indubitably regret. Case in point Aries Alec Baldwin who left an infamous and inflammatory rant on his then 11 year old daughter Ireland’s voicemail shouting that she was a “thoughtless little pig.” Baldwin later apologized for his rancor, a mea culpa all Aries father’s must learn to master. It ain’t how far you fall or hatefully you hurl folks, it’s how you recover and beg forgiveness.

TAURUS (April 20 – May 20)

Taurus rules the second house of values and possessions and Taurus dads are concerned with providing a safe and financially secure environment for their children. More adept at providing resources than sharing feelings, this father archetype is expressed in Tony Soprano, a deeply flawed family man that kept cash in the floorboards and a weekly appointment with his shrink. The hedonist of the zodiac it tracks that cigar smoking, scotch drinking, mistress loving Tony would be a bull. In keeping with the indulgent nature of Taurus, it comes as no surprise that gold hearted, bull headed Duff downing animated daddy Homer Simpson is a Taurus. A more actualized and actual version of the Taurus dad is found in Alexis Ohanian. Self made, self-aware and focused on self-care, Ohanian is a wildly successful entrepreneur and dad to daughter Alexis Olympia Ohanian whom he shares with wife Serena Williams. Because of his own experience of fatherhood, Ohanian has became a vocal advocate for paternity leave, with plans to take his fight to Capitol Hill. We love to see this kind of bull in the ring .

GEMINI (May 21 – June 20)

Anderson Cooper poses with his son.
Gemini father of two Anderson Cooper has a way with words and an inspiring take on co-parenting.
Instagram/@andersoncooper

Gemini is ruled by Mercury, planet of communication and exchange. For their part, Gemini dads are highly verbal, unpredictable, intellectual, unconventional and at points, erratic. Gemini dad Anderson Cooper, in keeping with the communication as communion energy of his sign, announced the birth of both of his sons Wyatt and Sebastian on-air during. Add to this Anderson’s Instragram post following Wyatt’s birth which is guaranteed to turn hearts to confetti and promises tear jerking birthday cards to come. True to the forward leaning, convention eschewing nature of air signs, Anderson co-parents and cohabitates with his ex Benjamin Maisani, despite the couple separating before either of their sons were born. Redefining family and revolutionizing love are all within the wheelhouse of Anderson and his mutable sign.

CANCER (June 21 – July 22)

Dorry and Marlin in a scene from "Finding Nemo."
Sad clownfish Marlin plays overprotective Cancer dad to free spirited Nemo.

Cancer rules the fourth house of roots and ancestry and this cardinal water sign is built for the kind of caretaking, kid gloving and worry-worting we see in Marlin, fish father to Nemo. There’s a bit of a sad clown feeling to Cancer and it tracks that Marlin is, of course, a clown fish. Further, he’s the kind of dad that wants to protect his progeny at all costs, even at the expense of their independent development. Marlin’s desire to keep Nemo safe stems from his fear of losing him but that fear feels like a cage to Nemo and the moral of the story, and the ultimate lesson for Cancer dads is that if you want to hold on to the love of your kiddos, you have to let them go their own way.

To paraphrase the writer Anne LaMott, care is the soft side of control and the darker expression of a Cancer’s paternal instincts. We see this modality in Cancer dad Jamie Spears limiting the freedoms of his daughter through a conservatorship that amounted to Britney living like a prisoner and Jamie taking on the role of warden. He claims, as most Cancers would that he did everything with his daughter’s best interests at heart.

LEO (July 23 – August 22)

A scene from "The Lion King"
Mufasa, pictured with a tiny, recalcitrant Simba, is the kind of Leo dad we all deserve.
Walt Disney Studios

Leo dads are appropriately lion hearted with a noted flair for the dramatic. Leo rules the fifth house of fun and natives place a premium on play and the honoring of the inner child. Fittingly, these fathers carry a wonder about them that lends a ‘kid at heart’ vibe that can easily careen into petty tantrums. On the upswing there’s a more the merrier, enough love to go around energy here, exhibited by lion dad Jason Momoa. Father to two children with ex-Lisa Bonet, Momoa maintains a close relationship with his step daughter Zoë Kravitz and even counts Bonet’s ex Lenny Kravitz as part of his inclusive ‘ohana.’ We see similar expansiveness in Joe Gorga whose fierce love and at times, sharp tongue, extends beyond his own children to his sister Teresa’s daughters. For obvious reasons, Mufasa is the Leo dad by which all others are measured.

VIRGO (August 23 – September 22)

The Duke and Duchess of Sussex have issued the first photograph of their daughter Lilibet on their festive card.
The image shows Meghan raising Lilibet in the air as she sits alongside Prince Harry, who is holding their two-year-old son Archie on his knee.

The Queen has met her great-granddaughter, Lilibet Mountbatten Windsor, for the first time, according to reports.

The Duke and Duchess of Sussex are in London this weekend with their two children for the monarch’s Platinum Jubilee celebrations.

According to royal commentator Omid Scobie, co-author of the Duke and Duchess of Sussex’s biography Finding Freedom, the couple introduced their youngest child to the Queen on Thursday.
Virgo dad Prince William finds freedom in fatherhood.
Alexi Lubomirski / Duke and Duch

Virgos are notoriously hard on themselves, wanting to adhere to a standard of perfection and an idea of success that often eludes them. Children offer the anecdote to any idea of calm or control and if Virgo dad’s surrender to the chaos they free themselves from the tyranny of unrealistc expectations, a liberty taken by Virgo regent and redhead Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex. After the birth of his son and in the fraught fallout that followed, Harry opted out of royal duty and into the devoted dad lane, striking out on his own and polarizing his countrymen in the process. Zero f**ks, total dad, we love to see it.

In terms of TV fathers, Virgo Kyle Chandler gave us the double edged sword of being the dad we all needed and the hottest dude to ever wear a windbreaker for his role as Coach Taylor in “Friday Night Lights.” Equal parts devoted and driven he delivered a Virgo vibe dad mantra that is as applicable to life as it is to football, “Clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose.” Bless up.

LIBRA (September 23 – October 22)

Libra dads, when willing, find their ultimate purpose in parenting. As the only sign in the zodiac symbolized by an inanimate object, Libra’s require the influence of another force to act or react, this leads to a relative emptiness that’s remedied by bringing forth progeny, ensuring they’ll always have someone around to provoke them and to provide for. A sentiment echoed by Libra dad Matt Damon who described fatherhood as fantastically fortifying, “It sounds stupid, but — at the end of How the Grinch Stole Christmas, you know how his heart grows like five times? Everything is full; It’s just full all the time.”

I have yet to meet a Libra dad without his own share of daddy issues and in this regard, the sign of equanimity approaches fatherhood as a means to balance out the failures and triumphs of their forbearers, As Libra dad Will Smith admitted on wife Jada’s Red Table Talk, “From the time I was 6 years old I wanted to be a father. I loved how my family was but there were massive, critical deficiencies in my father’s parenting that I wanted to correct.” A similar vibe is found in Libra dad and New Jersey’s finest, Bruce Springsteen, who has made a career partially based on reckoning with the ghost of his father. Balance the scales, right the wrongs, amend the absences, all in keeping with the remedial hero’s journey that is Libra fatherhood.

SCORPIO (October 23 – November 21)

As a fixed water sign ruled by Pluto, planet of death and regeneration, Scorpio dads are no strangers to intensity or transformation. We see this reflected in Caitlyn Jenner who transitioned in 2015 but still prefers that her daughters, Kendall and Kylie call her dad. For his part, Gordon Ramsay exhibits the protective paternal nature of his sun sign by routinely threatening bodily harm to his daughter’s suitors. Actor BD Wong expresses the hallmark resilience of Scorpio by surviving the premature birth of his twin sons and the loss of one of them just 90 days later. In the aftermath of grief, Wong found solace and unexpected levity in writing his memoir, “Following Foo: (the electronic adventures of The Chestnut Man),” demonstrating that for scorpions, trauma can be the means for collective healing. Wong’s book is billed as “a true story about intensive caring” which could very well be the banner under which all Scorpio fathers live.

SAGITTARIUS (November 22 – December 21)

Chevy Chase in National Lampoon's Vacation
Chevy Chase as Clark Griswold is an apex Sag dad.
IMDB/National Lampoon/Warner Bro

Committed to little beyond a good time and the mystery of what lies beyond the next bend in the road, Sagittarius dads are a fun if not faithfully present figure in the lives of their children. Captain Fantastic? Unrepentant Sagittarius. Pipi Longstocking’s swashbuckling, absent but affectionate dad is also a suspected archer. The archetype of Sagittarius fatherhood is perhaps best expressed in Clark Griswold, brought to life in the National Lampoon’s franchise by Chevy Chase. Griswold, like most archers is a natural oft delusional optimist who refused to let the unexpected death of an elder, a dangerous detour, a closed amusement park or the attitude of detractors keep him down or derail his misguided adventures. Fun or bust, adapt and overcome by going off script is the pervasive paternal energy here.

CAPRICORN (December 22 – January 19)

Lee Daniels with his twin children.
Lee Daniels is a Capricorn dad to twins.
WireImage

Family for a Capricorn dad is a means of establishing and expanding a lasting empire. Ruled by strict, boundary enforcing, status upholding Saturn, Capricorn is the uncontested daddy of the zodiac. They want their children to feel affirmed by the foundation they provide and inspired by the work ethic they exemplify. There’s a bit of a never good enough, perennially worried that they don’t have enough vibe about Caps. An anxiety felt and overcome by Lee Daniels.

The writer/director who became a father by circumstance after adopting his brother’s twins shortly after their birth told W Magazine, “I didn’t want to have kids.I was just beginning to make money and have fun with my life, and I didn’t want to grow up, but then the universe said ‘Time!’ I was forced to get my shit together because I wanted them to look up to me.” Stepping in and stepping up, very much in line with the ethos of the ever ascending sea goat.

Denzel Washington is a Cap daddy who extends the dad vibes and solid life advice beyond his own four children and into the flock of his friends and followers. He has acted as a mentor to Will Smith and used his own star power to advocate for Austin Butler to play the part of Elvis in Baz Luhrman’s biopic.

AQUARIUS (January 20 – February 18)

Aquarius dads are not building families, they are birthing stars. Their methods are unconventional, their emotions distant and their success hinges on their ability to balance tenacity with tenderness. We see this dynamic play out (pun intended) in Aquarius dad Richard “King” Williams whose rigorous training schedule and refusal accept the status quo gave rise to tennis royalty in the form of his two champion children, Venus and Serena Williams.

PISCES (February 19 – March 20)

Pisces is ruled by Neptune, planet of dreams and delusions and it tracks that a Pisces dad like Robin Williams in Mrs. Doubtfire would be the sort to host a house party, eschew all parental responsibility and then go to great and heavily disguised lengths to look after his flock and care for his brood. In real life and real time, Steph Curry demonstrates the best kind of Piscean dad vibes, or waves as it were. The idealist of the zodiac, Pisces like Curry aim to be the kind of dads that dreams are made of. As he said of raising a growing brood of ladies, “Being a girl dad is just leaning into being present, being available, being a vision of how a man should treat a woman. I think, for us we have to be that model.” Keep being that model of a hot, tender hearted dad, Steph, we’re all the better for it.

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